daisyflower

On to a new chapter in my life. New city (New Orleans), new job, new life…I hope. Since I’m already going through some transformations I might as well add 1 more to the list. “Finally get the body you want!” So “cheers” to getting to my 10 year long weigh goal! I’m glad to be back!

Urgh. In the last month and a half life has been turned upside down. Me and hubby and baby moved home with my parents. It’s been good, weird, but overall an easy cohabitation. But my weightloss goals have taken a backseat Sharing a kitchen, fridge and pantry are proving to be the hardest part. Mom and dad work hard and play hard. They both are pretty active in their jobs so they can afford to burn off the calories from pizza rolls and cookies….but having that stuff around makes it really hard for me to eat tomatoes and chicken breast. So while I haven’t gained (I’m shocked since I’ve been eating like it’s going out of style) I have stalled….roughly 15 lbs from my goal, boo. Anyone care to kick me in the ass to get me going again?? I’m running out of excuses since Damien is now 6 months old and not as attention needy as he was in the early months, I don’t work, mom and dad have a well stocked exercise room and we’re all settled now from the move. Someone please get in my grits and give me a reality check. Time to get to the weight goal so I can move on to something else to obsess about!

I gained 43 lbs with my pregnancy and this morning ladies and gents, I’M BACK TO MY PRE-BABY WEIGHT!!! It took 5 1/2 months, and I’m still about 10 lbs from my ultimate goal, but damn I feel good!!! Love me some weight watchers….and the nursing has helped a ton too! YAY!!!!!

Tada! Nice to see you mini-goal, but I gotta get going! Kisses, love you and all but this girls got another stop to make before I reach my destination! Ok, ok I’ll stop and smell the 154 roses for a minute, but really I gotta get to 145 and I’m running late!

Since having my son I’m down 34 lbs. First off, YAY!! Awesome. But more importantly I think after having him I finally respect my body. Before getting pregnant I was WAY critcal of myself. I was my own worst enemy. I said things to myself that I would NEVER say to another human being. I was also pretty….dare I say, shallow? Yep, shallow. I was the center of my universe. Me, me, me. Yes, I thought about myself A LOT. But it was more in the vein of, “Oh my god, did I really just do that?!” or “Why can’t I be more like her?” or “If only X Y or Z were different I’d have more friends.” This is selfish thinking. I was consumed with myself and my flaws and my weirdness and me mine my mine mine mine.

No more.

Shelf the fact that I barely have time to get dressed in the morning  let alone plan and plot my own self destruction. But do we ever give ourselves credit for what we can and have done? By sheer virtue of my eating habits I am giving my son fuel to grow and thrive on. My body provides a safe nest for my baby, loving arms to cradle him, strength to pick him up and comfort his cries. I feel like my head, heart and body are all finally working together and that I have purpose. Losing weight is easier than it’s ever been for me. Because I’m not losing it for myself anymore. I’m losing it for my family. I’m no good as a wife or mother if in 10 years I’m sick (diabetes has killed several people in the fam). I’m no good to anyone for that matter. I can do more good for others if I’m at my best.

I know this was all kinda upside-turvey but for the first time in my 27 years life makes sense. My body, my finances, my relationships….everything is starting to click.

Ok there are 10 weeks until the summer kick-off Memorial Day weekend! My goal is to be down 12lbs by then or 154. Maybe by then I’ll be able to fit some of my summer clothing What am I doing to obtain said goal? Weight Watchers program to the letter. I mean I’m measuring EVERYTHING I eat and starting with 3 walks a week at the local park and working up to 5 walks and several weight training sessions too. It’s not my ultimate goal weight, but heck, it’s on the way- might as well celebrate it while I’m at it. When I get to 154 I’m rewarding myself by buying myself a bike and a bike rack for my car. Here I go!

Ok, pity party. Table for 1 please. Quick rant to get all this negativity out of my head.

I’m almost 4 weeks postpardum and I can’t look at myself in the mirror!! Not even dressed will I take more than the quickest of glances at myself. I feel deflated. I have the tummy of a 90 year old, stretchmarks that resemble a horrible encounter with a tiger, I’m too fat for even my fat pants and am still living in maternity wear. I WANT MY BODY BACK!!! Even my face looks different…dare I say…older? I look and feel frumpy 99% of the time. Urgh. This sucks.

Ok, I feel slightly better after getting that off my sagging chest I just have to keep repeating my mantra, “Your body is a body, not a rubberband. It’s not going to ’snap’ back without some work.” Later peeps. 

Well, hmmm. It’s a good thing I’ve erradicated the word “perfect” from my vocab because last week was far from it. Although I did manage to get out an walk a few times and squeeze in 2 workouts I spent most of my week covered in spit up. It’s so hard for me to get and stay motivated when my husband is around. But he’s back to work this week, just left in fact so that means I can set my daily rountine how I want it. We’ve spent the last 4 weeks playing the “What do you wanna do today?” “I dunno, what do you want to do today?” game. And inevitably nothing happens. I did manage to keep my food under control because 1. I wasn’t that hungry and 2. it was hard to eat with the amount of time Damien spent nursing last week. So here’s to a better week! I’m joining Weight Watchers (for the 3rd time) on Thursday and going to try really really hard to get in a workout before hubby gets home from work 4 days this week and another workout on Saturday. Hopefully I’ll keep the scale sliding downward.

So I had a baby 2 weeks ago, YAY!! And a big “Hell YESS!” to the fact that 19lbs dropped off in a snap. But today marks my last day. My last day before diving into getting down to pre-baby weight. Urgh. 24 lbs to go. 34 if I want to hit my goal weight. Tomorrow morn’ I get to take my measurements, before pics, current weight and start the slow slow process of weaning myself out of those damn comfy maternity pants and into my fat jeans. So today I’m kicking back, enjoying the last crumbs of the chocolate chip cookie bars and reviewing my old weight watchers info to get back on track. Tomorrow is day 1 (and no, I’m not doing anything crazy, I realize my postpardum body is still recovering) and “Cheers” to this fat butt because I hope to never see it again.

 Bye bye big butt, nice knowing ya and sure as heck was a lot of fun putting you on, but you’ve over stayed your welcome and none of my pants fit, time to go.

Goals: April 1st be down 6-8 lbs (162-164), May 1st be down to my mini goal of 155 and will reevaluate goals from there. See y’all tomale.

So I left buddlyslim temporarily round about June because I got pregnant, YAY!! It was a long pregnancy! Ok, not really since I gave birth on my due date 2/14, but man those last months drag on and on and on and, you get the point. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes right before Thanksgiving, (booooo!) and had to watch every morsel or run the risk of a too large baby (thank goodness he was only 6lbs 5oz!). But as soon as I get the ok from the doc I’m going to be back into “Weight loss mode”. This should be interesting with a newborn to watch. But I don’t have much choice since I can’t afford bigger clothing and my bigger butt isn’t going to fit into those tiny pants without some work. So the point of this blog is really just announcing my return and also to say that weighing in after giving birth is highly rewarding! 15 lbs so far and my body is still releasing fluid and other pregnancy stuff. It’ll be about 6 weeks postpardum before I have a true idea of how much real weight I have to lose. Here’s to hoping that it’s a managable 20 lb or less weight loss to tackle! Yay! I’m back! But starting really rreeeaaallllllyyyyy slowly with small diet modifications and short walks until doc lady says I can up the ante.